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3:40pm November 30, 2013

Wow I must just use vision as a backup sense when my other senses fail.

I just got a bit visually overloaded and so I did all this stuff around the house without opening my eyes even a little bit:  

Getting out of bed, walking to the bathroom, hanging up my feeding backpack on the shoe rack, using the toilet, using the bidet, getting the toilet paper, throwing out the toilet paper, flushing, going out of the bathroom, into the bedroom, into the kitchen, getting a butt pill out of the freezer, getting a rubber glove, sticking the butt pill up my butt, throwing the glove in the trash, going back into the bedroom, setting up my bipap machine, turning it on, getting my pillows arranged in bed, and climbing back into bed.

Most of that I did without bashing into anything or feeling around for everything.  It’s like I’m already doing so much from kinesthetic memory that I only had to feel around a little bit and only when someone moved something (I hate when people move things for that exact reason, someone moved my butt pills).  Sight is just my backup for when kinesthetic memory fails, I guess?

This is why it’s so tiring to go outside, because there’s so much visual information that I haven’t seen before, that it’s completely exhausting just to get my brain to process it.  And it’s even harder to process it for actual meaning and not just clumps of colors.  So it makes sense that I’d already be using senses other than vision and that closing my eyes makes little difference.

I used to use emacspeak when seeing got too painful – it was entirely text-based and controlled by keyboard commands.  Maybe I’ll learn how to use my Mac with my eyes closed, too, I know there’s software for it.  That could be very useful when my eyes and visual brain are exhausted.  Which is pretty much always, but sometimes worse than others.