11:41pm December 19, 2013

madeofpatterns-hufflepuffs-identify-with-people

youneedacat:

madeofpatterns:

Hufflepuffs identify with people in crisis a bit too strongly and sometimes don’t have good boundaries about offering support vs taking over.

Also, Hufflepuffs identify too much with the underdog, and can get taken in by someone posing as the underdog.

As in, if a bully…

do you have any idea how to avoid playing into that kind of situation?

No.

Short of knowing really well how to spot a very specific kind of bullying pattern. But if you don’t have that skill, you can easily make serious mistakes. Because they will portray innocent things their target does as “part of a bullying pattern” too. (In fact, in general, they will reflect everything they do back as something you’re supposedly doing to them, and then they’ll probably claim you’re doing the same, just because.) And yet, “staying out of it” can also contribute to the problem as well.

I never felt so alone as when this was done to me by a really skilled bully.

And yet every time I even try to describe it, I get frustrated. Because I know everything I say of them is something they were saying of me, and that many outsiders don’t know how to tell the difference.

(Like they said that I “had an amazing way with words and was eloquent and good at manipulating people” and that I was somehow exploiting their own language difficulties. However, the situation was actually that I appeared more eloquent because of the sentence structures I was using, versus the ones they were using. But that actually, they were manipulating hidden language problems of my own. And that while they did not appear eloquent in a traditional way, they were actually excellent at using language to convey pictures of things like disability stereotypes that they then used to make themselves look like the wronged one and me look like a villain.)

I can say one thing.

If someone feels – underneath it all – like a giant ball of hate coming at you, steer clear of them and be very wary of what they say, and of what you tell them about yourself or others. That’s the one thing – she felt, underneath all words, underneath all everything, between all everything, like this giant ball of hate. And she felt that way even when she seemed to be doing things that were innocent, kindly, or cheerful. It was like being blasted with pure hate. That was a warning I should’ve heeded, but didn’t. People who blast pure hate are likely to do harm, on purpose.

But usually real-life situations are not easy. :-/

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