10:53am February 4, 2014

It happened again.

It was milder this time, but it happened anyway.

I think it happened a few times throughout the night, but I was really out of it so I’m not sure.  I do know that around 8 am, I woke up and moved my head slightly from the spot it was propped up, only for it to flop down to the side, painfully hard, and not move.  This time I didn’t panic, couldn’t panic really.  But I tried moving my arms, and they moved a little bit, it was less severe than last time, but I still couldn’t move them very well.  I still don’t know how it stopped – that’s the weird part, I never quite remember it stopping, I don’t know if that means I’m passing out or what, or if it’s a sign of cognitive problems.  But it was so much milder this time, and I still needed medications that the hospital wouldn’t be able to give me, so I didn’t call 911 when I was able to.  I hate the ER and I don’t want to go there for anything short of a serious emergency.

So I am talking to my case manager and seeing if there’s any way he can get me to the urgent care clinic.  Transportation is the main issue (regulations keep changing), but I vastly prefer urgent care to the emergency room when I can help it in any way whatsoever. 

I can’t say I’m not uneasy that this has happened again.  But I keep getting the nagging feeling that this happens more often than I think it does, and the cognitive blur that accompanies it prevents me remembering clearly.  There’s something so familiar about waking up with severe weakness and a floppy neck combined with cognitive problems and difficulty staying conscious.  But I’ll have to discuss this with my doctor again whenever he schedules testing on the adrenal issues.

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