as small as a world and as large as alone

4:21pm February 9, 2014

lichgem:

No wonder I thought being crazy was the same as dying, when there’s stuff like

“Something terrible happened to her and she went crazy,”

and,

“Whomsoever tries to read this book without the proper key will go mad,” in literature and stuff

as though it’s self-explanatory that when you “go crazy,” you’re done for, you go away somewhere people won’t think about you or talk about you anymore, you become a gravestone to mark the tragedy of the loss of What Was Once Sane

I used to think that and it messed up my life to such an enormous degree you wouldn’t believe it… or maybe you would.  But once I believed I was Going Crazy (partly for things that were entirely physical, as it turned out) that drove me for-real crazy and I attempted suicide, partly because of those exact beliefs about what crazy meant.

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