4:13am March 14, 2014

just a friendly reminder

milkedmothprincess:

if you do a favour for someone or give them a present without it being requested, you may not later use that as ammunition to get them to do something for you, that is emotionally manipulative

it’s using emotional attrition to make someone feel obligated to do something that they otherwise might not, on the premise that your provided unrequested service necessitates payment

that’s coercive and terrible in every way

that is all thanks

I used to know someone who did this all the time.  She’d bring me all these little presents, and she’d do things for me, and she’d insist that I needed to be her friend to repay her.  And she’d also try to get me to give her large sums of money I didn’t even have – when she always seemed to have thousands of dollars to throw around and I was living on disability payments.  Anyway, I grew to dread any time she did anything for me, because it always had strings attached.  I was glad when I finally got her to stay the hell away from me, it was completely good riddance by that point.  But she managed to make a lot of people feel obligated to her, by doing little things for them or buying them unsolicited gifts, and then making demands in exchange.  And she wasn’t even subtle about it.  It was “I’m doing this for you so now you need to do something for me.”

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