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9:32pm March 28, 2014

Okay wow.

humainsvolants:

youneedacat:

For reference, I reblogged that thing about ‘intimate’ and ‘sexual’ because my most intimate relationship (of my entire lifetime, and probably as intimate as it is possible to get with another human being) is not sexual, not because I think sexuality should be devoid of intimacy.  o_O

someone thought you were saying that ????

They thought someone was saying it, I don’t know if they attributed it to me or not but I wanted to clarify what I meant just in case.  But they voiced their objections in a response to me, so it felt kind of weird.  (Their objections weren’t entirely bad objections, I just wanted to clarify my own intent with reblogging that just in case, because it seemed to offend them.)

If I’d written the statement I reblogged, I’d probably have said it differently, anyway.  I’d probably have said:

Intimacy and sexuality aren’t always the same thing, each can exist without the other.  And it’s uncomfortable for me that people assume that each is the same as the other, because my most intimate relationships aren’t sexual, and it’s hard to discuss profound intimacy in these contexts without someone trying to tie it back to sexuality, because they’re used to seeing them as the exact same thing.

But even as worded, it struck a chord with me, so I reblogged it without commentary.  I actually do sometimes refer to sex as ‘being intimate’, too.  I was just glad someone was pointing out they aren’t always the same thing, and I don’t tend to demand that everyone I reblog should word things exactly how I would word them.

Hmm, maybe I’ll post my own version now that I’ve written it.