9:40pm March 28, 2014

What I would have written, if I could have, earlier.

Intimacy and sexuality aren’t always the same thing.  You can have intimacy without sexuality, and sexuality without intimacy, even though the best sexuality tends to be highly intimate.  It’s uncomfortable for me that some people assume ‘sexuality’ when I say 'intimacy’, because my most intimate relationships happen to not have been sexual.  It’s hard to discuss profound intimacy in these contexts without someone trying to tie it back to sexuality.  And then I have to try to explain that you can sometimes have the most intensely intimate union with another person, without it being a sexual union.  Which ends up distracting from my attempts to discuss intimacy.  Sexual intimacy is a wonderful, beautiful, and unique form of intimacy, but it’s not the only intimacy, and I’d love if more people recognized that 'sexual’ and 'intimate’ aren’t always the same thing.

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