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8:21pm April 6, 2014

➸ Radical Neurodivergence Speaking: Conditioned eye contact.

clatterbane:

sherlocksflataffect:

I do talk about the things they did to children in the late 80s to force eye contact, tw for restraint and other abusive practices

I only got this in school sometimes, with one teacher in particular who kept grabbing my face. And I feel lucky again to be coming from a culture with different eye contact patterns, where mine never really even stood out.

Feeling aggressive or trying to come on to someone? Then you can stare into people’s eyes. Otherwise it’s really rude, and somebody might just assume you are challenging them in some way. Obviously that is not how everybody does things. (It also doesn’t necessarily mean they’re lying or must have abysmal self esteem. Really.)

This is another thing I’m really sorry that anybody decided to focus on to this extent, to the point that treating kids abusively is not just OK but required. It’s not like a different pattern of eye contact is even hurting anyone. Priorities. :(

(But seriously, if I am making sustained eye contact and grinning in a way that shows my teeth…that’s highly unlikely to be a friendly response. Plenty of miscommunication that way, yep. :-|)

In 1996 I had a therapist who, if I did not look him in the eye, he’d do kind of a karate chop type motion with his hand onto my knee in a really painful spot, and do it over and over and over until I looked at him, and then he’d stop.  So just to verify that this stuff went on past the eighties, and is undoubtedly still going on.  I was not able to physically fight back against this guy because he knew martial arts and could pin me really painfully with one hand.

Notes:
  1. thefatalfetus reblogged this from disabilityinkidlit and added:
    This is actually super important and im so so glad they dont do these things anymore because its hard for me to make eye...
  2. momsthetic reblogged this from disabilityinkidlit
  3. disabilityinkidlit reblogged this from andreashettle
  4. stubborn-string-bones reblogged this from autisticadvocacy
  5. something-i-dunno reblogged this from withasmoothroundstone
  6. velderia reblogged this from withasmoothroundstone and added:
    Oh god.
  7. ajax-daughter-of-telamon reblogged this from clatterbane and added:
    Holy shit, wow. How can they think that’s an OK thing to do to a child?
  8. clatterbane reblogged this from withasmoothroundstone
  9. withasmoothroundstone reblogged this from clatterbane and added:
    In 1996 I had a therapist who, if I did not look him in the eye, he’d do kind of a karate chop type motion with his hand...
  10. bessibel reblogged this from autisticadvocacy
  11. inuyashainterpretations reblogged this from reclaimingtheautismtag
  12. ananiujitha reblogged this from autisticadvocacy
  13. wordscanhurtyouknow reblogged this from autisticadvocacy
  14. ofdreamsanddoodles reblogged this from reclaimingtheautismtag
  15. reclaimingtheautismtag reblogged this from autisticadvocacy and added:
    They did the same stuff to force eye contact when I was a kid in the mid 90s.
  16. mightbebeautiful reblogged this from autisticadvocacy
  17. geekmehard reblogged this from autisticadvocacy
  18. logicalabsurdity reblogged this from autisticadvocacy
  19. andreashettle reblogged this from autisticadvocacy
  20. autistic-mom reblogged this from literally-defective