7:51am April 12, 2014

That was a weird dream.

I had a dream just now that I was so hungry I felt starving, and started eating anything in sight just to stop being hungry even though I knew my stomach couldn’t deal with it.  Luckily, when I woke up I found that I was not hungry at all, and had not been eating.  In the dream I’d wondered if my stomach was getting better or something, causing me to suddenly feel famished.  In reality, not so much.  But relief at not having eaten myself sick outweighs any disappointment about the state of my stomach.

I have been fairly hungry this week, though, because I fasted twice for blood tests.  On Saturday when I went to Les Mis, there was a deli next door that I could smell on my way out, and it took all of my willpower not to go in there and order a hot pastrami sandwich.  I’ve been craving pastrami all week.

I only really get strong food cravings when I have for some reason missed my tube feedings.  When I haven’t, I seem to rarely feel either hungry or full.  Which is actually kind of nice, because it means I never have to think about food.  On the occasions when I do want to eat, though, it kind of sucks.  Because I had thought I could get away with chewing food and spitting it out without swallowing it.  But in reality, if I try that, then it stimulates more fluid production in my stomach and I’m more likely to aspirate it.

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