8:16pm May 2, 2014

“

Here’s a basic rule: if you’re reading or watching a Shakespeare play, and you’re not imagining the actors standing in front of a mosh pit of jeering Londoners waiting to throw vegetables at the stage, you’re doing it wrong.

Shakespeare might have written the best works in the English language, or given us profound insight into the nature of humanity, or whatever — but his works wouldn’t have survived to our day if he hadn’t been popular when he was alive, and he wouldn’t have been popular when he was alive if he hadn’t been able to please the crowd. And that includes a lot of dirty jokes. A lot.

Sometimes in incredibly inappropriate places. We’re here to rescue a few of those for you, and retroactively embarrass the heck out of your fourteen-year-old self, who had to stand up in English class and read things that, in retrospect, are absolutely filthy.

This isn’t about the stuff that always does crack fourteen-year-olds up in English class, but is totally innocent: the “bring me my long sword, ho!” sort of thing.

But the kids who lose it every time the word “ho” is uttered are closer to the spirit of Shakespeare than the teacher who demands they treat the words like museum pieces.

Sure, it would be awkward for teachers to explain the Elizabethan double entendres to their students — but pretending they don’t exist makes Shakespeare seem unnecessarily stuffy and difficult.

So we’re going to start with the most obvious innuendoes, and move on to some seriously advanced sex punnery that is probably going to blow your mind.

”

Reading Shakespeare without the sex jokes is the real tragedy. (via newsweek)

I am forever grateful to the English teacher who explained “country matters” in Hamlet to me.

A few months ago, a brainy kid came to me complaining that she hates Shakespeare. (Note: I am not an English teacher.) I told her that they were probably teaching it wrong and she should go find the excellent YOUR MOM joke in Titus Andronicus before writing off his entire body of work.

(via sabotabby)

The rape joke at the beginning of Romeo and Juliet is why I never finished Romeo and Juliet

(via lichgem)

I am almost glad I couldn’t understand it enough to get that, then.

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