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1:56am May 8, 2014

lichgem:

I hate it when I only get into the mood to write when it’s already evening

‘Cause when I write I start getting really really into it and then by the time I’m done it’s five hours later and I’m as jittery as I’d be if I had a double shot of espresso

I get jittery from writing too.

Also it makes my nerve pain worse.

For me there’s a point of no return.  Like at first I’m writing and it’s just ordinary writing.  If I cross the point of no return, then writing becomes a compulsion and I can’t stop.  Then I get stuck in the world of words, which terrifies me, and the terror compels me to write more, to hang onto words as long as I can.  When that’s the mirror opposite of what I should be doing.

And if I get to the compulsive part you can bet I’m not only jittery but in severe pain and sleep deprived and lots of other things.