as small as a world and as large as alone

5:12pm May 9, 2014

patternsmaybe:

lichgem:

eirstegalkin:

in a healthy, close relationship of any kind, when something upsets you, you need to bring it up. as soon as possible, even. cultivate an environment in which you both can talk about things that upset you, with the utmost attention to everyone’s feelings. it’s a really simple thing to do but it’s a thing i’ve been working on for a while and i’m getting actual nice things happening as a result

I think this is good, but

I have also had people use this concept to bully me into giving up my emotional privacy.

Sometimes “right now” is not the best time to talk about things. Sometimes you need space to think about your feelings and figure out how you want to broach the subject, or whether or not it’s worth broaching, or whether or not you trust the other person enough to try to work things out or if you need to leave. Those are important things, too.

I think also, sometimes the solution is to get over it privately. Not everything need to be processed together.

Yeah sometimes “talking about it” endlessly can only make things worse, too.

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