Theme
8:50pm May 11, 2014

patternsmaybe:

humainsvolants:

patternsmaybe:

Please do not offer universal validation.

Sometimes when people feel terribly ashamed the *last* thing they need is help feeling awesome about themselves.

I have no idea what this means.

Sorry I really don’t understand what these words means!

Like this:

  • Someone does awful things
  • And they feel awful about themselves
  • And they try to get reassurance from others that everything is ok
  • And then they feel better, without actually fixing anything or intending to fix anything

A friend of mine was being horribly classist, and seeking reassurance in a form like “This doesn’t make me classist, does it?” where the only possible answer she would accept was “No, of course it doesn’t.”  Except she was being classist.  And it was not only harming others but also harming herself.  But she was arranging all conversations around the matter as reassurance-seeking rather than fact-seeking.  And it rapidly became intolerable to interact with her during these times.