as small as a world and as large as alone

9:51pm May 12, 2014

lichgem:

thethirddecade1121:

thecompanionsdoctor:

thecompanionsdoctor:

The thing that sucks about mental illness is that if you aren’t depressed enough, suicidal enough, bad enough, nobody cares. Nobody cares until you reach their standard, and that standard is when your problem is bad enough to effect them

The amount of people who can relate to this makes me equally incredibly sad and immensely angry

And when you are any of those things *enough* then you’re just dramatic and self centered. You really can never get help without people being shitty to you, if you get help at all.

I’ve actually noticed that the WORSE my problems are, the LESS people want to deal with them. They pretend there’s this imaginary “bad enough” out there so that they don’t have to admit outright that they’re crappy people who lack human decency, but when you reach “bad enough,” they’re even more disgusted with you than before. Because victimhood of any kind is considered contemptible. Suffering is suspect. And especially mental illness and disability are seen as inherently untrustworthy.

If people really cared about things being “bad enough,” they wouldn’t be so hostile toward homeless people- because that’s what “bad enough” LOOKS LIKE when you’re mentally ill. That, or you’re dead. And then people will call your death a “failure to overcome” on your part.

What drove me nuts (literally) in the psych system was:

“You don’t have real problems.  The people with real problems are too sick/distressed/upset to talk about them.  The people with the worst problems will never say they have a problem.”

And then if I had problems that were bad enough and aligned in just the right way that I couldn’t talk about them…

“Well how could we possibly know you were having problems?  You didn’t tell us!”

I could have smacked them.  Did smack them, sometimes.

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