9:22pm May 21, 2014

If you ever find that you are a Big Name Autistic…

You can become a Big Name Autistic without intending to or even noticing that you have. That’s how I became a Leader In The Autistic Community. All I did was write about things I thought were important, and then suddenly people were calling me a leader. And it didn’t seem fair, but life sometimes isn’t fair, and that’s what happened.

When you’re considered a leader, or a big name, even a moderately big name, then people look at you differently. Often in a very unfair, over-critical way. People want their leaders to be perfect, and that’s impossible for any human being to do. So people pick you over and ask you questions and demand to know why you said something ten years ago that you don’t even remember and expect impossibilities and it’s really stressful.

But there’s one thing that I’ve tried to do, that I think is important for people to try to do, when they become a big name, or a leader, in any capacity.

And that is… do your damnedest to get other voices out there. Voices that aren’t big names or leaders. Voices that may be big names or leaders in other segments of the community, segments your part of the community hasn’t necessarily heard of. Voices of dissent and disagreement, even, as long as the dissent and disagreement is actual dissent and disagreement. (Bullies sometimes pose as dissenters.) Voices that are diverse in every possible way for voices to be diverse.

This is why I do a lot of things that I do, and say a lot of things that I say. I am trying to use whatever little power I have, to make our communities more welcoming to a broader variety of people. I am trying to use what little power I have, to try to show people that people’s opinions can be worth listening to even when they seem different in ways that have been seen (in this community) as beyond the pale. I am trying to make room for more people. I am trying to show why people have opinions that, even when I don’t agree with, I still understand the basis for them. That’s all I’ve been trying to do, for years.

It heartens me the more diversity I see in these communities. It worries me when I see too little diversity. Or when I see pseudo-diversity – people who may look different from each other, but all manage to think in perfect lockstep.

So I try. I don’t know how much good I do, but I try.

Notes: