1:00am May 23, 2014

Voicy

I’ve never known anyone outside my family who was named Voicy, but within the family there’s at least two or three.

And now I’ve chosen Voicy as one of my middle names.

Because one of the Voicy’s is my favorite relative on my dad’s side – his aunt, who is close to his age and more like a big sister to him.

Because it reminds me of my roots and how deep they go.

And when I say roots I mean it both literally and figuratively. I mean my family, where I come from, everything good and bad. I also mean roots like tree roots, and my connection with roots and soil that goes back forever in the same way that family does.

So I have a first name that’s like a combination of my original first and middle names, that shortens to Mel but is, grudgingly, unambiguously female. Grudgingly because a friend who I trust with my life, insisted I have too many battles against prejudice already, without a fully gender-neutral name. She says I can still be Mel for every practical purpose, she just wants me to have the option to fill out forms with a female name. And I, grudgingly, see her point. So, Amelia in theory and on paper, but always Mel in practice.

Then the next name is a middle name I will share with my closest friend in the world.

Then the next name is Voicy, standing for Voicy herself, and for all my roots, in all their forms.

Then Baggs. I thought of going to Beggs, which is the actual family name that got mangled on a census all those years ago. But that same friend told me that even though it’s more authentic to my roots, it has unfortunate connotations when you’re looking at it in English instead of Gaelic. (Beggs comes from a Gaelic word for short.) And I see her point. So, Baggs.

Of all the names, though, I’m proudest of Voicy. I’m thrilled to be able to take on her name. She and I once had a conversation about our names, and getting used to your name, and things of that nature. I grew up hearing the name Voicy all the time, even though I’d never, ever heard of a non family member with the name Voicy and still haven’t. So Voicy means family, and it means roots, and it means belonging in the world on the deepest level.

Tomorrow I go to the courthouse.

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