1:12pm May 25, 2014

➸ Advocate !

I took that dammed letter to my Primary Doctor today and she almost cried. I finally shook her up to open her eyes enough to see how BAD MY PAIN IS NOW!
I now have the proper medications and specialized referrals to get at the very least…me a moment out of suffering.
It all really does go back…

Sticking up for yourself like that does come with risks, and I don’t want to minimize that, but I do want to say one thing:

Not just in the medical areas of my life, but in other areas. I’ve found that recently, I’ve found the ability to stand up for myself, to be clear about boundaries, to say what I will and won’t put up with, and to be firm about it.

I expected that this would get a really nasty response.

It didn’t.

Overall, nearly every time I stand up for myself, I get matter-of-fact respect.

It’s mind-boggling.

It’s almost like when I’m fearful and curling into myself and trying hard to not take up too much space, people just walk all over me. But when I stand up for myself, they stop doing that and treat me with more respect.

It shouldn’t have to work that way, but apparently it does.

And not everyone treats me with more respect. But a lot of people do.

Note that when I say standing up for myself, I do mean being firm, but I don’t mean being super-aggressive. Being super-aggressive can get the exact same results as being super-passive, actually – almost like they’re two sides of one coin.

But fearlessly saying, “This is what I need, I’m not going to put up with being treated with any less respect than I deserve, here’s what I will and won’t put up with.” That works more often than you’d think.

Still, there are risks to any of this. There’s risks to being passive, there’s risks to being aggressive, and there’s risks to standing up for yourself. It’s up to you to decide which risks you’re taking and which ones are worth it.

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