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3:04pm May 26, 2014

lichgem:

youneedacat:

pyrrhiccomedy:

based on extensive observation, I believe that my cats have only a tenuous grasp on how much of my body is “me”

It’s like, Head: definitely Big Friend, note eyes and noise-hole.

Hands: 90% certainty of Big Friend, 10% possibility of toy. comprised of two main parts, the rubby-rubby and the wriggly-scritchers. does Big Friend control them with her mind? the mechanism is unclear.

Arms, aka “Cuddle Snakes”: do these help Big Friend’s hands from getting lost? good place to sit.

Torso: ??? we have no idea what this is. smells like Big Friend but serves no observable purpose. treat as terrain.

Legs, see: “The Lap Conundrum”: 25% chance of Big Friend, totally uninteresting. WHEN LAP: 90% chance of Big Friend, excellently warm. where does the lap go? our finest cat scientists seek the answer to this mystery, but no breakthroughs as of yet.

Feet, aka “Twitchy-Kickers”: 10% chance of Big Friend, 90% chance of foe. all attempts to communicate have ended in hostility. Destroy on sight.

Fey is definitely in the “destroy on sight” mode with my feet half the time.

*giggles*

Lovette is afraid of my feet. Several times he’s accidentally stepped on them, and LEAPED off of them in alarm.

It’s a lot better now that I’m on dexamethasone.  Because I’m able to run.  Prior to this, all I could do was shuffle quickly.  That was my fastest mode of walking before.  And so every time Fey was going after my feet, I’d have to shuffle quickly and carry objects to stick between her and my feet as I shuffled quickly out of the way.

When she’s pissed at me basically she shows it by yowling at me and pouncing on my feet with all her claws and teeth out.  And she gets pissed at me fairly frequently, largely because of cattish reasons I can’t figure out no matter how hard I try.  So my feet are her favorite attack zone.

Also she likes to corner me on the toilet and bite my feet and legs while I sit there, because she knows I can’t get away from her if I’m on the toilet.

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