as small as a world and as large as alone

3:29pm May 26, 2014

lichgem:

youneedacat:

lichgem:

youneedacat:

pyrrhiccomedy:

based on extensive observation, I believe that my cats have only a tenuous grasp on how much of my body is “me”

It’s like, Head: definitely Big Friend, note eyes and noise-hole.

Hands: 90% certainty of Big Friend, 10% possibility of toy. comprised of two main parts, the rubby-rubby and the wriggly-scritchers. does Big Friend control them with her mind? the mechanism is unclear.

Arms, aka “Cuddle Snakes”: do these help Big Friend’s hands from getting lost? good place to sit.

Torso: ??? we have no idea what this is. smells like Big Friend but serves no observable purpose. treat as terrain.

Legs, see: “The Lap Conundrum”: 25% chance of Big Friend, totally uninteresting. WHEN LAP: 90% chance of Big Friend, excellently warm. where does the lap go? our finest cat scientists seek the answer to this mystery, but no breakthroughs as of yet.

Feet, aka “Twitchy-Kickers”: 10% chance of Big Friend, 90% chance of foe. all attempts to communicate have ended in hostility. Destroy on sight.

Fey is definitely in the “destroy on sight” mode with my feet half the time.

*giggles*

Lovette is afraid of my feet. Several times he’s accidentally stepped on them, and LEAPED off of them in alarm.

It’s a lot better now that I’m on dexamethasone.  Because I’m able to run.  Prior to this, all I could do was shuffle quickly.  That was my fastest mode of walking before.  And so every time Fey was going after my feet, I’d have to shuffle quickly and carry objects to stick between her and my feet as I shuffled quickly out of the way.

When she’s pissed at me basically she shows it by yowling at me and pouncing on my feet with all her claws and teeth out.  And she gets pissed at me fairly frequently, largely because of cattish reasons I can’t figure out no matter how hard I try.  So my feet are her favorite attack zone.

Also she likes to corner me on the toilet and bite my feet and legs while I sit there, because she knows I can’t get away from her if I’m on the toilet.

Every time you tell me a Fey story, it becomes more and more clear to me how hardcore you are as a cat-human duo. Lovette is like, Fey’s temperamental opposite, almost. He’s scratched me and bit me before, but only out of playfulness, as far as I can tell. In fact, he could learn a thing or two from Fey, because sometimes I’m annoying him or overwhelming him, but he purrs anyway instead of letting me know I should stop.

Fey is a really cool cat, even though I’d like to tell her to stop picking on you and your poor feet!

I’ve noticed that the more Fey likes a person, the more she feels comfortable physically attacking or threatening them when she’s pissed at them.  I’m not sure what’s up with that.  

Like there’s this one staff person that she’s really warmed up to, absolutely loves, comes up to just to snuggle and get petted and smell her breath and stuff, which is not something she comes by easily with anyone.  She clearly really really likes this person.  But at the same time, she will threaten this person more than she threatens other staff.

And she’s of course very attached and connected to me, and I’m the person she’s the most violent with.

I don’t exactly like being attacked, but at the same time I am glad she feels comfortable enough to let me know when she’s angry with me.  If anything, I just feel frustrated that she’s unable to tell me what’s going on.  I’m sure the problem is that she’s telling me something very clearly in cat language, and I’m not grasping what it is, and she’s very frustrated and is screaming it at me and I’m not getting it and only then does she attack.  But as much as I try, I can’t understand.  So we get into fights fairly regularly.  (If I feel like she’s being unfair, I’ll growl or hiss or put my teeth on her ear or something to make it clear I’m not just going to put up with it.  But other times I just try to keep my feet out of reach, or kick her off the bed, or something.)

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