Theme
5:58pm May 26, 2014

 http://vr-trakowski.tumblr.com/post/86897527681/3liza-a-while-back-ghostbong-bought-a-very

3liza:

a while back, ghostbong bought a very cheap, very used Roomba from craigslist.  ”so, you’re going to ‘hack’ this, right?” said the man at the parking lot rendezvous.  but we just wanted a vacuum.  since then, the addition of the word “robot” to our casual, every-day lexicon is continually jarring, as if even living in the future will give you future-shock.

doing maintenance on the robot.  the robot is stuck on a cord.  the robot ate a sock.  the robot ran out of power before it got back to its charging station.  the robot knocked something over.  it doesn’t help that the Roomba programmers saw fit to outfit the little thing with a series of Artoo-like MIDI scales and honks, to convey the mood of its message: docking successfully produces a tiny fanfare, and getting its brushes jammed on a foreign object makes it cry out in sad distress. do i verbally reassure the robot when i pull a wad of cat hair and bread bag tabs out of its works and set it back down on the floor? you bet i do.

but the larger point is that it is now possible no for me to say (or type) out loud and without irony, sarcasm, or any kind of fictitiousness: “the robot knocked over the kitten’s water dish >:I “

the future is here, and it is me on my knees on the floor yanking hairballs out of a domestic droid while it softly boops at me

Notes:
  1. claytonisawesome reblogged this from smellyghostboy
  2. smellyghostboy reblogged this from bearhawke
  3. bukuoshin reblogged this from memetherapist
  4. von-reinherz reblogged this from bearhawke
  5. memetherapist reblogged this from bearhawke
  6. become-a-gear reblogged this from bearhawke
  7. gloombi reblogged this from bearhawke
  8. bearhawke reblogged this from runeboy
  9. sniper-bird reblogged this from demiksmith
  10. love-me-if-you-care-to reblogged this from dadtherockjohnson
  11. whoribleidea reblogged this from erroneousemu
  12. whispercracklelikefiredust reblogged this from disgustinghuman
  13. femaledragonborn reblogged this from spectreofthegrey
  14. dreamichwan reblogged this from greasy-pole
  15. firenzehasmyheart reblogged this from erroneousemu
  16. greasy-pole reblogged this from erroneousemu
  17. erroneousemu reblogged this from sweaters-for-gays
  18. demiksmith reblogged this from cullenspoofypauldrons
  19. bubble-gum-glitch reblogged this from kindhusband
  20. pie-is-the-solution reblogged this from thisfrecklyginger
  21. stupendousbadasses reblogged this from dadtherockjohnson
  22. thebunnycat89 reblogged this from thisfrecklyginger
  23. ahanarinasweater reblogged this from dragonlaird
  24. tigers-lost-stripes reblogged this from dadtherockjohnson