5:07pm May 29, 2014

➸ The Lie of Lie-detecting

kathleenshimp:

erikahammerschmidt:

Excerpt from an essay, probably to be included in my next book, about so-called “signs of lying” and how most people are pretty terrible at theory-of-mind / empathy.

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Autistics are already accused of lying far too often, because of our frequent lack of eye contact,…

I’m at the point where I get utterly angry when I see articles about “How to tell if someone is lying” because almost every thing they mention is what a person with anxiety, autism, or just a shy person in general will do in stressful situations. And, for many of us, most social situations are stressful.

So relieved to see that being addressed by somebody.

Yeah and also…

There are things that I am not lying about.

But that I have been told so often that I am a liar when I talk about them.

That I begin to show signs of very high anxiety whenever asked questions about them.

Which then gets interpreted as lying.

Worse, at times when I am afraid of being seen as lying and therefore overcompensate by trying to seem truthful which is the same thing liars do and therefore people think I’m lying.

All of these things have always struck me as massive holes in the idea that you can just tell when someone’s lying if you learn all the right stuff to look for.

Meanwhile the best liars I’ve known show none of those signs.

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