as small as a world and as large as alone

11:15pm May 31, 2014

patternsmaybe:

trying to figure out a way of describing a particular kind of violation

when your communication is prompt-dependant

and someone figures out how to prompt you in the ways that make you say what they wanted

and you know you don’t believe that

and you can’t help saying it anyway, over and over and over

while there’s this layer of you on the inside that has no access to expressive words

it’s *horrible*.

I know it very well.

If I were less sleepy I would write about it.

I hope to remember to write about it when I wake up more.

Because it’s very important.

And very evil.

There’s one version of it I’ve called push-pull.  But that one isn’t about language.  It’s just a variant of it.  There’s many variants.  All manipulative.  All evil to the core.

i need to remember to write about this.  Need to.  Important.

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