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9:48am June 16, 2014

madeofpatterns:

ravefromthegrave:

i hate the thing people do where they treat illnesses like they’re something you can “beat” or “fight”

like, it doesn’t matter how much i don’t WANT TO have epilepsy, i can’t just stop taking my meds and magically not have seizures just because i don’t WANT to. they don’t disappear because i concentrate hard enough. like, do you think i WANT to have a condition like that? no, i don’t, and to say that a disease can be “beaten” or “fought” is just really offensive to both people with chronic illness AND people who have lost loved ones due to terminal illnesses that can’t be cured. it’s like saying “oh your mom wouldn’t have died if she had FOUGHT HER CANCER”. seriously, fucking stop it.

seriously.

The only time that’s ever true is because of ableism etc. Like, sometimes people have to fight because people don’t want to treat them. And have to fight to *want* to stay alive in the face of all the constant micro and macro aggressions from people who think their life isn’t worth living.

But that’s not something the people who push the ~fighting cancer~ narrative like to think about.

There is a time when fighting makes a difference.  But it still doesn’t fit, at all, into the usual ~you must fight cancer/illness/etc.~ stories you hear.

Basically, there’s a point where you’re close enough to death that it takes actual effort to hang onto life.  And at that point, people are sometimes able to fight to stay alive longer.  At which point you’ll either get better and gain more energy and be able to stay alive, or else you’ll run out of energy to fight and you’ll die, you’ll just die a little later than you would have.  And at that point there’s also a choice to give up and die.  But that’s a really specific point in the course of a life-threatening illness, and most people, most days, with most illnesses, are not at that point, at all.  Also, people shouldn’t be criticized for making either choice.  Sometimes fighting is just too hard, and you shouldn’t have to do it if you know you’re dying anyway.  Sometimes you want to hang on just a little bit longer so you can say goodbye to everyone you care about.  These are personal choices.  Neither one shows strength or weakness.  Either one can be right, either one can be wrong.  Plus, there are times when no matter how hard you fight, you’ll die, and no matter how much you give up, you’ll live.  

And the way people get blamed for this stuff is utterly horrible.