as small as a world and as large as alone

12:42pm June 20, 2014

twocentsormore:

It is also okay to look at a situation that makes you feel wrong or bad in some way, or that something wrong and messed-up and potentially harmful is going on here even if it hasn’t hurt you personally (yet), and say “There’s something wrong here.  I need to walk away.”  Even if you can’t define what that wrongness is in words, or pick out specific logical fallacies, or write a giant philosophical thesis about what’s wrong.  Even if you have no words at all for the wrongness feeling.

And you can back off and say “I don’t have to listen to this person/this community” without needing to give a reason for it in words.  If you are a deeply sensing person and you feel something wrong is going on, you are almost certainly right, even though you might not find out until much later what was going on that was wrong, or put together the pieces and find the words for it.

Also, being made to feel bad about yourself by others is actually not good for you, and to acknowledge this does not mean you’re giving up all responsibility and ability to take a hard look at yourself when you really are doing something wrong.  But if there’s a place where going to it regularly makes you feel like shit, there is absolutely no good reason for you to keep going there.  There are definitely people who reform and learn to stop treating others badly, but it is completely okay to not go back to someone if you aren’t 100% sure they’ve reached that point.

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