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11:05pm
June 23, 2014
I think what upset me today.
Was realizing that no matter how well I do at all these different things, I’m never going to pass, because my behavior will never be normal, because when you’re nonverbal you have to do things differently, at a bare minimum. And it’s not that I want to pass. It’s not that I want to look normal. It’s just that sometimes I’d love the security of not suddenly being treated like a 3-year-old by everyone I encounter. And not knowing that people are thinking the r-word even when they’re not saying it. And all that. I was just having such a wonderful day – and it really is a wonderful day, this didn’t totally ruin it – and then this guy had to treat me like dirt just to rub in that I’m really an unperson deep down. And even the people who treat me better, like my PT, there’s elements of the unperson stuff deep down in the way people interact with me. It’s always there. Except with people who either know me well, or are doing the thing where they totally ignore half of my reality, which isn’t any better.
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madeofpatterns reblogged this from withasmoothroundstone and added:I think it also might be that you’re doing a lot of new things lately. Which means you’re being treated in dehumanizing...
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fullyarticulatedgoldskeleton said: I’m so sorry. :c
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gloomkittie said: fuck i’m so sorry. i would rage 24/7 honestly…i don’t have the temper for that kind of treatment. doing as well as you do some days is pretty remarkable. you have more strength then me that’s for sure. (sorry if weird; trying to be encouraging)
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withasmoothroundstone posted this
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