7:00pm June 24, 2014

Why is it…

…that my ex has, in our former social circle, the permanent label of “abuser” because he behaved abusively towards me for less than a year?  And has all these rumors about him that aren’t even true – that he kicked me in the head, smashed my head through a wall, threw me down a flight of stairs, etc.?  (When I didn’t remember these things, I was told I was repressing them.  By the people who created the rumors.  Who are actually the next people I’m going to talk about.)

Then there are people in the same social circle who behaved abusively to a large number of people for a large number of years, and who in fact have behaved abusively towards me, from the moment they knew me, up until the present day, and have a degree of focus on trying to ruin my life that really startles anyone who realizes what’s going on.  Because it’s really intense and illogical that they would do this.

They do not have the label abuser, no matter how many people they have abused, in how many fucked up ways.

My ex was a guy with an anger problem who got over it.

These people are sadistic abusive bullies.  Sadistic abusive bullies who will stop at nothing to ruin the life of anyone they see as a sufficiently interesting target.  People who see other people as toys for their amusement.

But my ex is the guy who gets the “abuser” label in that social circle.

(ETA: My ex wasn’t doing good things.  But he was doing things far less bad than the people I’m talking about, and somehow they never get called abusive, no matter how many people they hurt, how many people’s lives they try to destroy.  My ex didn’t try to destroy my life.  He shook me and occasionally slapped or hit me, and he was emotionally and verbally abusive.  Then he realized he was an asshole and got better.  Subsequent girlfriends have had no complaints, and they were watched very carefully and warned about him, so it’s not like they’re all conspiring to stay silent.)

11 notes