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7:26pm July 2, 2014

popculture-ill-iterate:

as people we go through a lot on a daily basis. try not to give people a hard time.

I wish more people realized this.

I’ve been very open about my father having cancer, and my mother’s myasthenia crisis, and my grandmother’s mystery illness, and so on.

There are people walking around on tumblr right now with all those problems and more who are not comfortable speaking openly about them, for a whole lot of good reasons.

And if you treat them as if, because they have not labeled their pain out loud, then their pain does not exist and it’s okay to be rough with them?  Then you’re going to run around hurting a lot of people.

People do it all the time.

People have a lot of private pain.

And people in pain, whether private or public about it, are hurt worse by ordinary things, than the average person.  At least some of the time.  Sometimes it’s like having no skin.  Sometimes it’s the opposite, it’s “This has already hurt me so bad nothing can ever hurt me again.”  But either way, it’s a really bad thing to add to people’s pain, even unknowingly.

So try to be nice to people.  You never know what they’re going through.  There was a time when I was being stalked, and I would not have breathed a word about my family’s illnesses and impending deaths and whatnot.  Because it would’ve been used against me.  When I was dying (which I’m not anymore, thanks to diagnosis and treatment), I didn’t tell anyone, I dealt with that almost alone.  People close off like that sometimes when they’re in pain, they try to handle it all themselves.  And other people hurt them without even knowing.

So assume that the person you are interacting with is a real person, not just words on a screen.  And assume that they may be dealing with some really heavy shit in their lives, because honestly most of us at some point in our lives have to deal with heavy shit.  And then refrain from unloading all your frustrations on them, you don’t know what damage you could be doing.

Notes:
  1. saffr0n-sunrise reblogged this from fullyarticulatedgoldskeleton
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  15. okideas reblogged this from withasmoothroundstone and added:
    Crucial words! We can only change the world if we create a culture of kindness combined with justice.
  16. theubermenschthatmakesyoucry reblogged this from withasmoothroundstone
  17. fullyarticulatedgoldskeleton reblogged this from withasmoothroundstone
  18. withasmoothroundstone reblogged this from fullyarticulatedgoldskeleton and added:
    I wish more people realized this. I’ve been very open about my father having cancer, and my mother’s myasthenia crisis,...
  19. kishona reblogged this from adrianofjustice