8:37pm July 2, 2014

Potluck, poverty, autism, and other stuff

Like where everyone brings a thing, and you get to try all the things. But they make me really anxious beforehand.

And today I think I figured out why.

Basically…back in elementary school they used to do these class parties every so often. All students were expected to bring something to share.

And there ended up being a number of times when I just had to sit there, humiliated, wondering if anyone would offer me something when I hadn’t brought anything and if I was supposed to accept it if they did.

I don’t think teachers always realize, despite not necessarily making much money themselves, that it may not be a trivial thing for all families to provide enough of *anything* for a whole room full of kids.

And even if not for the money issues, not all kids have the communication abilities to tell their parents they’re supposed to bring in food or plates or whatever.

This one was actually my main problem.
Starting when we were as young as maybe 7, my schools tended to rely on students to relay all kinds of information verbally to their parents.

And even though they usually sent notes home, it would never occur to me to think “okay I need to give this to my parents in enough time for them to figure out something both affordable and logistically feasible to bring in.” The amount of sophisticated communication/reasoning that kind of thing required was just….light years away from me, developmentally speaking.

So now even though I can manage potluck events and enjoy bringing stuff, there is still always this weird twinge of thinking I am going to do it wrong and end up disappointing people and/or embarrassing myself. :/