12:45am July 5, 2014

I have Something To Say.

I sometimes get riled up about the worst parts of tumblr culture.

But I continue to be amazed about the best parts.

People who will pass the hat over and over again to help a friend in need.

The person who knew that I was really upset one day and drew me an amazing picture of myself as a cat, truly amazing, and all in the time it took me to get a van ride home. When I got home I discovered the cat and I was so happy.

All the people who will draw something or write something to make someone else feel better, even if they don’t know the person that well.

All the people who can’t bring themselves to even hit the “like” button in support of someone, but you can tell they’re out there lurking and that they would if they could.

All the people who work to spread kindness in a world where kindness isn’t one of the big values people want you to have. Including people who try to work kindness into their social justice work as an integral part of it, even in rough situations that call for more than just kindness, they’ll be there, with their kindness, working as hard as they can to keep their integrity intact.

All these people who care about other people.

All these people who, once they know what they can do for someone, they will do it, absolutely.

All these people who think up inventive ways to be kind.

All these people who make me cry because they are so wonderful.

All these people who make me cry because I don’t want this to ever change, I don’t want everyone to become jaded and mean, I don’t want friends to become sworn enemies, and I have seen it before, and I so badly don’t want to see it here.

All these people who make me cry because kindness is harder on the Internet in many ways. It’s easier to be callous, to forget that at the end of every screen is a human being. Yet there are people on tumblr who never forget that.

All the people who, when I am going through my hardest times, mass-reblog images that they know are sacred to me. And I cry so hard sometimes as I scroll through images of redwoods, mushrooms, the forest floor, everything that brings my spiritual life meaning. Even though most of them don’t share my ‘religion’, they still respect it enough to pick out these images when I’m at my worst.

madeofpatterns liveblogging Ecclesiastes. I can’t say more about how wonderful that is. I still need to go over and reread it but seriously that entire series of posts was a thing of wonder and beauty.

Do you guys know how much I love you?

Do you know how much I love you even when I don’t know exactly who you are? When I can’t keep track of your screen names enough to remember personal details? This embarrasses me, so many people take this problem I have as a sign I don’t care. But I do care and Ilove you more than anything even when I don’t now who, precisely, you are.

Because I can see how you behave, and you behave like someone I ought to love.

We were taught in Latin class about the suffix -andum/-andus/-anda. It means something that has to be done. A memorandum is something that must be remembered. My birth name is Amanda. They told me it meant “she who must be loved”. Another student in the class said, “Amanda, gotta love 'er.” We all laughed.

All of you, in Latin, are Amanda. People who must be loved. And I love you, and whatever else changes, I never want your kindness to change. People see kindness as weak, people see love as weak. Kindness is an expression of love. Love is the strongest force known to humanity. Never forget that.

And it can be hard to remain loving and kind in a world that sees these things as weakness. It can be hard because our own egos want us to do other things, to be grumpy and snarky and cruel. And of course, because we’re human, we’re all of those things at least some of the time.

But if you can love even a fraction of the time you want to love, then you will become more loving. And if you can live compassion for others, then you will become more compassionate. The more you practice love, kindness, and compassion, the easier it gets.

And when you die – and everyone does – you’ll be able to say you were as loving as you could be. And that’s all that will matter. Everything else will fall away. And you’ll care about love, and kindness, and other things that matter more than anything in the world. Being able to die, eyes wide open, able to look yourself in the mirror, is no little thing in this world where so many of us have been taught to hate.

I love you. I love all of you. And I am in awe of the ways that y'all find ways to show love for each other, even (perhaps especially) in the most difficult circumstances. These aren’t little things, they aren’t trivial things. These are the things the very survival of our species is built on. So keep building, you’re doing great. And I will try my best to keep up.