as small as a world and as large as alone

2:42am July 5, 2014

blackwingedrose:

When we told Oldest Boy that he’s autistic, we explained it by saying his brain was special and worked in a different way that most people’s. And we told him that I’m autistic as well so that he understands he’s not the only one and there are other people like him. Because he’s 4 and we have no other idea how to explain it to him right now. We did discuss some of the ways in which his brain works differently, mostly focusing on little specific examples like how he needs headphones when we vacuum and his sister doesn’t and how he doesn’t like some foods because they “feel squishy” and how he doesn’t like to stop doing things to do something else and how sometimes he gets upset very easily and that all of those things are A-okay because they make him who he is. But I mean, really, he’s 4, and I’m not sure exactly how much of that he really absorbed, so we’ll talk more about exactly what it means when he’s older and as it comes up.

But that’s not the point.

The point is that now he will randomly say, with absolute glowing pride, “my brain is different and special. My mommy’s brain is different and special too.” And then sometimes he says “I think that deserves a high-five” and then he will high-five me. And he’s just like, so damn happy about this. And I hope he grows up always feeling this way and being proud of who he is, even when things get hard sometimes (because I know that’s inevitable). But right now, he’s proud and happy to have a “different and special brain” and you have no idea how happy that makes me.

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