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2:07pm July 5, 2014

allismshutsup:

I’m so terrified.

I remember scoring poorly on a facial emotion recognition test at age 10, paving the way for my diagnosis.

Took a similar test yesterday. Scored a 30. The average is 27, and for Autistics it’s 22.

I’ve also recently noticed myself getting better at social interactions and subtext.

I must be outgrowing my Autism.

Most folks would abritrarily say that’s a good thing, and I know it’s not necessarily. I love the community and celebrate that part of my identity, and now I’m losing it. I’m losing myself. I don’t know who I’ll be when my neurotype isn’t on the spectrum.

It’s normal for some autistic people to get better at things like that as you get older.  It doesn’t have to mean you’re not autistic anymore.  They literally don’t have guidelines for what autism can look like in adults, because we’re so diverse and because they don’t care as much about adults as kids.