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4:09am July 6, 2014

madeofpatterns:

slashmarks replied to your post“slashmarks replied to your post “So *not* into restorative justice….”
I think that’s probably true, because a lot of what I’m taking issue with is more things youneedacat is saying than you. I do get the feeling you endorse most of those things, but I might be wrong. But I also think that prioritizing not seeing ½
abusers as monsters as an important thing *is* destructive, so I don’t think it’s entirely that.

I do agree with most of what youneedacat has said about this.

But I think you’re reading hir as saying things that I neither agree with nor think sie actually said.

Like, sie’s not saying that victims have any sort of moral duty to reconcile with their abusers. I think all sie’s saying is that it’s dangerous to say that no one should ever under any circumstances reconcile with an abuser. I agree with hir about that.

Completely agree that these are things I haven’t actually said.  I’m not even sure I said what you think I said, either.

And now I’m very nervous about even participating in this conversation, because elsewhere someone has said those dreaded words, something along the lines of “she didn’t actually SAY this, but she seemed to MEAN it”.  Bullshit.  If I meant something, I would’ve said it.  End of story.

Notes:
  1. withasmoothroundstone reblogged this from madeofpatterns and added:
    Completely agree that these are things I haven’t actually said. I’m not even sure I said what you think I said, either....
  2. slashmarks said: If you want to talk about this subject further, we need to do it in private. Dreamwidth, email or some form of IM would all be fine.
  3. madeofpatterns posted this