as small as a world and as large as alone

3:53pm July 6, 2014

solemnscruffy:

If I were to identify as “greygender”, would… would that be okay?  Reading the description really seems to fit.  Is it a valid thing to identify as?  Would I be mocked or criticized for it? @~@

Yes, it would be okay.

Yes, it is a valid thing to identify as.

Yes, you might be mocked or criticized for it:  There are people on tumblr who seem to think that when people come up with ever-more-precise labels for their identities, then they’re just “trying to feel special”, and then they mock them, criticize them, and bully them.

And there seem to be parts of the tumblr trans community who really, really want the trans community to be theirs and theirs only, defined by them, borders kept solid by them, only for the people they think are good enough to be let in.

I’m genderless (usually people seem to use the term agender around here), and there have been times when I’ve read the agender tag and seen nothing but arguments about who counts as agender and who doesn’t, and it makes me really mad.  Because people who are trans or genderless have enough problems without this kind of pointless bickering.

And when I tried to stand up for people who were being mocked and belittled and bullied for these things, I got some responses that were basically denying that there was any actual bullying problem, as well as responses that referenced these complicated sets of factions in the community that I couldn’t even figure out or follow much less comprehend.

So yes, you might be mocked or belittled.  But that wouldn’t be your problem, that would be theirs.  Something someone taught me to think in situations like that is “I’m okay, you’re mean.”  It helps me remember that if someone gives me crap for being genderless, no matter what kind of crap it is, it’s not my problem, it’s theirs.

It’s also your choice whether to be open about what you identify as, and where to be open about it.

16 notes