as small as a world and as large as alone, andromedalogic: i have harped on this before but...

3:50am July 9, 2014

i have harped on this before but it is truly amazing when “feminists” talk about so-called ~~Nice Guys~~ except every fictional example they list is a character who’s either disabled or coded as such, and the qualities they believe comprise a Nice Guy are like

“ugly, lacks social skills, sad pathetic loser nerd, probably still lives in his parents’ basement”

i do not deny that Nice Guys exist — they clearly do — and i also do not deny that some disabled men are Nice Guys

but like

you are talking about something that is not misogyny

you are talking about how you believe certain types of men are presumptuous in desiring affection at ALL. you think their very existence is entitlement. because they DARE to be interested in women, sometimes.

i am an ugly sad pathetic loser nerd, with terrible ‘social skills’, who still lives with her parents. you are talking about me. i am not a guy, but do you really think i’m going to see that list of adjectives and not identify myself?

if your description of a Nice Guy isn’t centered on misogyny and male entitlement, you are probably being ableist. you are probably implying that you think disabled men (autistic men, in particular) are gross and unlovable. and specifying gender doesnt make it any less insulting to ALL of us. we hear this shit every day.

That description of living in their parents’ basement never sat right with me either. Nor the descriptions of bad hygiene (now why would anyone willingly have bad hygiene… couldn’t be an executive function or motor planning disability, or inertia?). Or unfashionable clothing (who would have trouble keeping up with fashions… oh yeah autistic and other cognitively or psychiatrically disabled people). It just goes on and on, into territory that has absolutely nothing to do with how a man treats a woman. And everything to do with real or perceived disability. Most likely autism, other developmental disabilities, cognitive disabilities, or psychiatric disabilities, with some possible physical disabilities thrown in. Not cool. And people always do this, not just when discussing Nice Guy Syndrome, it’s like they have to get little digs in at disabled people while they’re discussing anything that makes someone gross or unattractive.