Theme
8:06am July 11, 2014
Anonymous asked: What do you think about people like me who are not part of the universe and don't love anything and aren't natural? What should we do? Should we die?

[2/3 I am incapable of love. I am pure evil. Am I still a part of the universe?]

[3/3 The fact is it is better for us to die. Non sensing people don’t love, if you understood how we think you would understand that we are pure evil. Your love post is wrong.]

You’re wrong about all of that.  You’re one of those people who can’t read what I write without finding some sort of message in it that isn’t there.  I think you should put me on ‘ignore’ so that you won’t have to read any more messages that aren’t there.  Because right now, whenever you read something I write, your brain finds a way to distort it into an insult towards either yourself or the sort of person you are.  Which tells me you shouldn’t be reading anything I write.

You’re wrong, by the way.  Most of the world isn’t 'sensing’, most of the world is perfectly capable of love.  Nobody is 'not natural’ and nobody is 'not part of the universe’ (exactly which universe are you part of then?).  But none of that matters.  No matter what I write, you’ll find an insult that isn’t there, and then you’ll come to me with a chip on your shoulder about the insult that wasn’t there.  That won’t help you and it won’t help me.

If my writing makes you feel like a worthless person who shouldn’t exist, then you need to stop reading my writing, starting after this message.  Put me on ignore and then find ways not to read anything I write.  I have a feeling that all that will happen if you continue to read my writing, is continued resentment, hostility, and possibly self-hatred.  These things won’t help you any.  I don’t know what exactly would help you, but I’m clearly not the person you should be turning to, given that I can write the most innocent posts in the world and have you come back deciding they’re a message to you about how worthless you are.

Most people at this point would urge you to get psychiatric help if you’re actually as suicidal as you sound.  I’m not going to do that, because I’ve been through psychiatric help and it’s at best a mixed bag.  If that’s an option you want to consider, though, I wouldn’t stop you, either.  But there are always other options.  One such option is finding people who have felt how you feel, and finding out how they have dealt with their problems.  But your problems aren’t something I’m equipped to fix – because we can’t communicate.  No matter what I say, you read it as “You’re not like me, therefore you’re worthless and better off dead.”  That’s about as far from capable of clear communication as two people can be.  So I’d urge you to seek out people you can communicate with, if you have any desire to stop feeling this way.

Because I’m clearly – very clearly, from every ask you send me – not someone you are capable of reading what I write and making any sense of it at all.  And being able to at least get the message the person is sending, is crucial to any kind of two-way communication.

So if you want to stop feeling like you’re worthless and should die, one of the first things you should do is stop reading anything I write.  Because even though nothing I write could possibly mean the things you read into it, you will read those things into it and then they’ll make you miserable.  And then, after that, I’d try to find someone you can communicate with.  Whether that person is another Internet stranger who could become a friend, or whether that person is a paid professional, is your business.  But clearly you’ve got problems well beyond what I can deal with, not least because you can’t read what I write without finding things I didn’t write there, and then applying them to yourself in the worst way possible.

So the only advice I can possibly give is first put me on ignore, then go seek out someone who makes you feel better, rather than worse, when you read their writing.  And for whatever it’s worth, you are natural (all people are, although I find the whole question of “what is natural?” a moot point anyway), you are part of the universe (all people are, by definition), and you are capable of love (love isn’t an emotion, it’s a property of the world that is always a part of you even if you can’t see or feel it).  And none of those things have a thing to do with whether a person is 'sensing’ or not.

Please, though, put me on ignore before you find some other way that I’ve supposedly told you that you’re worthless enough to die.  And then seek out people who don’t make you feel that way, or who make you feel less that way.  There’s clearly something really fucked up in how you interpret my writing style, I can’t even pretend to know what it is.  All I can say is, there was once a person whose writing style I interpreted in a similar way, and while she had done nothing wrong, it was very important that I not read her writing until I was in a state of mind where I wasn’t going to interpret her every other word as a jab in my stomach, and then obsess on what she might mean.  I don’t know if that's exactly what you’re doing when you read my writing, but it sure looks familiar from where I sit.  And you should really seek out people who don’t affect you like that. 

Notes:
  1. withasmoothroundstone posted this