3:53am July 14, 2014

I love my daily routine.

I didn’t realize this until recently.

It actually gives me joy to go through all the little things I have to do every day. Even the gross ones, like burping my g-tube or giving myself a butt pill. Every single part of the routine makes me feel calm and content. And missing some part of the routine makes me feel out of sorts until I manage to find some way to complete it.

There are a lot of parts to the routine, most of which involve something with the feeding tube: Cleaning it out in the morning, flushing it with diet coke to help dissolve clogs, putting meds and food into the j-tube, using the g-tube to empty my stomach, etc. And then there’s the butt pill. And then there’s lots of other things.

And all of them feel good to do, or have someone do. It’s just extremely comforting to have something that’s the same every single day. This may be an autistic thing, I don’t know. But I find myself actually happy to do anything involved in my routine, whether it’s drawing up meds into a syringe or sticking a pill up my butt or doing my physical therapy or anything else. It doesn’t matter what the thing is, as long as it’s part of the routine, and then I enjoy it a lot and miss it when it’s not there.

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