as small as a world and as large as alone

8:51am July 19, 2014

catharticcruella:

One reason I don’t fit in most autism communities I’ve tried to enter is because of my background.

I’m middle-aged, but grew up diagnosed, severely abused and a lab rat and scapegoated because of prejudice (which occurred regardless of what people knew) and I truly believe awareness is only making everything worse.

I’ve survived things I’ve blocked from extensive memory.

And yet I’m verbal, grew up verbal.

I’m a woman.

I’m not a good nerd.

I just don’t fit in.

“You’re very different.” Yes, I’m aware. I wonder if people would still point out how different I am post Daryl Hannah’s coming out as autistic and labeled in childhood. Probably.

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