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3:20pm July 20, 2014
Anonymous asked: I'm so sorry about your father. The pictures of his chosen coffin in the forest that you posted were really beautiful and sad

Yes.  I think he and I are trying to focus on the beautiful parts, because there are beautiful parts.  But the whole thing is gut-wrenchingly sad, and I can tell he’s in more pain than he lets on even to himself from the cancer.  And that’s one experience I wish I could take away from him, experience for him somehow.  Because I can handle physical pain, but I can’t handle, as well, seeing my father in so much pain.  But you get what you get, and this is what we’ve got.

He’s going to be buried with his head pointed west, to show how his family came west to California during the Okie migration.  He’s really thought a lot of this out.

The one good thing coming out of this is our love.  Because it’s strengthening our connections, connections I didn’t realize how strong they were until we started having to lean on them.  And now that we lean on them, we are seeing deep roots that were there all along, that we never had the chance to tap into until now.  I wish we’d known earlier.  I wish there’d been more time.  But I guess there is always time, because every moment is forever in its own way.  Nothing that exists can un-exist, it can only be stuck in a part of time that we don’t have full access to.

Notes:
  1. callmemonstrous said: a part of your father will always be in that land, in you, and in the way you see the world. im so glad he’s been able to make these decisions and make it such a self-affirming process.
  2. vulturechow said: ❤ his choices are so beautiful.
  3. withasmoothroundstone posted this