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3:28am July 26, 2014

What does self-care mean these days…

…and why does the term make me feel fuzzy and disoriented?

And I’m not talking about the meaning I learned originally, the meaning I use, which is things like knowing how to bathe yourself, dress yourself, feed yourself, etc.  The one that’s got roughly the same meaning as  Activities of Daily Living (ADLs) and Instrumental Activities of Daily Living (IADLs) but sounds much less technical and jargony.

I mean the new meaning, the one with a silent ™ at the end that makes me nervous and dizzy and confused and fuzzy.  Like inner child ™, self-care ™, etc.  All the words with the silent ™ make me feel that way.

As usual, I’m not telling anyone to stop saying it, regardless of how I feel.

But when I say I’m not good at self-care or that I lack self-care skills, I’m talking about ADLs and IADLs and that kind of thing.  I mean ‘daily living skills’ or something similar.  I’m not talking about… whatever it seems to mean to most people these days.

It’s weird, I’m really good at tracking words in certain ways.  Like, when a word suddenly becomes popular or changes meanings in a widespread way, I notice it, it stands out to me as if it’s got a big circle around it.  And self-care has been doing that recently.  I kind of understand the new meaning in a vague way, but not in a precise way.  But I know that there is a new meaning and that usage is changing and that’s what I’m weirdly good at picking up on sometimes.

But what is the actual definition of self-care that people are using?  Because I can’t seem to quite get my head around the concept.  Every time I try, it slides away from me.

Notes:
  1. artifactrix said: My understanding is that it means “doing ‘nonessential’ things specifically to support and care for yourself”. It’s often used to defend making decisions that you know are healthy, but that others might criticize as 'impractical’.
  2. squirrelparts said: in my circles, it seems to be associated with not pushing yourself harder than necessary when you just aren’t up to it, and taking moments out for yourself when you’re really feeling weighted down, which can be interpreted in many ways
  3. ischemgeek reblogged this from withasmoothroundstone and added:
    Self-care = ADLs and also doing emotional/physical things that are good for you that aren’t ADLs - like taking a break...
  4. wangclub said: I think it means being about to look after your own emotional, psychological, spiritual, social needs. And caring for yourself in a loving and compassionate way. E.g. tinyurl.com/phyao2r I think it is a vague word.
  5. vulturechow said: The new definition imho is things that are not necessarily “vitals” but will affirm your importance and worth and ground you in your body if you’ve lost touch with any of those things.
  6. kai-skai said: As I understand it, it means keeping an eye on one’s mental health and doing things that make one feel better/avoiding things that make one feel worse if needed. (E.g. to stop reading an upsetting website and draw or listen to music instead)
  7. deathraylasercrazy reblogged this from withasmoothroundstone and added:
    I also use it to (most of the time) refer to the same ‘self care’ you’re talking about. Activities of Daily Living. The...
  8. fullyarticulatedgoldskeleton said: I think it means doing things that our culture would ordinarily call self-indulgent, to cheer yourself up or make dealing with mental illness, trauma, or disability easier. Like looking at pictures of kittens, or taking a nap, or eating ice cream.
  9. callmemonstrous said: i usually take it to mean affirming actions/words/boundaries that make you feel more confident and yourself. for instance, putting on makeup just because or watching the silliest shit imaginable. bubble baths, a special just cause treat, etc.
  10. withasmoothroundstone posted this