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4:04am July 29, 2014

prettycuterpillar:

i was in the actuallyautistic tag and there was a post abt how sitting/standing in an odd position can be bc of sensory stuff and that makes a lot of sense as to why i always find myself leaning to the right a lot

my head naturally tilts that way, like a lot (im doing it right now) and when i sit in chairs i find myself putting more pressure on the right side. trying to sit straight feels rly odd and just not comfortable for me so i have to do it to be comfortable

i remember going for a haircut one time and the hairdresser got so annoyed at me bc they were trying to cut my hair but couldn’t do it properly because my head kept tilting to the side without me realising it uvu

My head tilts to the right, but I think it’s a neuromuscular thing and not an autistic thing.  It’s getting to be incredibly painful, so my physical therapist is giving me exercises to strengthen the muscles and hopefully straighten my head out.  Because the muscles in one area have gotten so tight they hurt like hell all the time, and restrict my range of motion despite normally being hypermobile.  Problem is whenever I tilt my head to the left, it somehow ends up going right back to the right within seconds of me getting distracted.  

One thing my physical therapist has trouble understanding is that I can’t multitask so I can’t concentrate on posture while also typing, for example.  She insists that if I keep trying it will become habit, but that’s never been true before, she’s not my first physical therapist to suggest this.  But I just let her say that, and let her think that, because I don’t think she would understand even if I explained it over and over.  Because she sees this as stuff that’s hard for everyone, when I’m talking about specific, autism-related cognitive problems that make it harder than it is for everyone else, even if it is already hard for everyone.

She’s a really good physical therapist other than the fact that she doesn’t grasp my cognitive problems at all.  So I just kind of have to let her think whatever she’s going to think, because explaining does no good.  She was surprised that I do all my exercises at home when caregivers are there, instead of alone.  I couldn’t explain to her that I can’t initiate or continue anything like that without prompting of some sort.  She doesn’t get autism or autistic catatonia.  She couldn’t even understand why I can’t count in my head when I’m doing my exercises, why I need anyone to count for me.  Because I lose count after five or fewer, that’s why.  But… whatever, she’s good at what she does, really good, aside from that, so I can deal with her not grasping autism or cognitive disability in general.