as small as a world and as large as alone, bibliospork: youneedacat: saccharinesylph: ...

7:33pm July 29, 2014

bibliospork:

youneedacat:

saccharinesylph:

toxius:

wwretched:

ignis-aeternus:

goldenphoenixgirl:

imakesensejournal:

Reading this now. My therapist recommended it & it is a very helpful, quick read. It helps with those of us who have issues with parental guilt & manipulation. It’s purpose is to help you regain your self worth & develop new ways to interact.

One of the best books I’ve ever read. It literally changed my life.
Anyone who thinks they may have been abused in any way by a parent or caregiver should read this book.

please share.

I wish there were a way to download this book. I want it, but I don’t want my parents to find it. :/

https://www.dropbox.com/s/rgub6nm3y4z5x0l/TOXIC%20PARENTS.pdf

Passing this along for people who need it!

That dropbox link doesn’t work for me, but this one does:
http://www.feminish.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/TOXIC-PARENTS.pdf
Not sure I agree with everything in the book, but it might be useful to some people. (I’m still reading it. I’m not huge into some of the therapy stuff, but it makes some good points, too.)
One warning, by the way: The book sometimes seems to make it sound like parents with chronic illnesses or mental illnesses are somehow abandoning their children or “forcing their children to be adults/caretakers” just by being sick. So… if you’re disabled, be aware of that before reading. I’ve heard that line a lot before, I didn’t know it probably was popularized in this book.

Thank you for saying that. As a mentally ill and autistic person I had to stop reading specifically for that reason. It really ramped up my parenting anxiety. The fear that I abuse my child just by being her parent was consuming me. I have enough of that from my own thoughts. I don’t need a book to make it worse.

Yeah. I once had an entire group of online bullies picking apart my idea that I might, someday in the future, be able to become a parent. And a good deal of the talk was focused on how ~traumatic~ it is to have a parent who has catatonia of any kind for any reason, and how it’s horrible to ~do that to a kid~. (Which apparently meant, have a child if you’re psychiatrically disabled in any way.) Somehow I managed to survive a family with psychiatric and other disabilities (literally every family member had a disability of some kind if not more than one) without being scarred for life by it or feeling like I “lost my childhood” to it. I mean, our family had problems, we’re plenty dysfunctional in our own ways, but that wasn’t the problem. Nobody seems to believe that’s possible, though. They seem to think that being sick or disabled or mentally ill is a form of child neglect or child abandonment in and of itself.

youneedacat:

saccharinesylph:

toxius:

wwretched:

ignis-aeternus:

goldenphoenixgirl:

imakesensejournal:

Reading this now. My therapist recommended it & it is a very helpful, quick read. It helps with those of us who have issues with parental guilt & manipulation. It’s purpose is to help you regain your self worth & develop new ways to interact.

One of the best books I’ve ever read. It literally changed my life.

Anyone who thinks they may have been abused in any way by a parent or caregiver should read this book.

please share.

I wish there were a way to download this book. I want it, but I don’t want my parents to find it. :/

https://www.dropbox.com/s/rgub6nm3y4z5x0l/TOXIC%20PARENTS.pdf

Passing this along for people who need it!

That dropbox link doesn’t work for me, but this one does:

http://www.feminish.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/TOXIC-PARENTS.pdf

Not sure I agree with everything in the book, but it might be useful to some people. (I’m still reading it. I’m not huge into some of the therapy stuff, but it makes some good points, too.)

One warning, by the way: The book sometimes seems to make it sound like parents with chronic illnesses or mental illnesses are somehow abandoning their children or “forcing their children to be adults/caretakers” just by being sick. So… if you’re disabled, be aware of that before reading. I’ve heard that line a lot before, I didn’t know it probably was popularized in this book.

Thank you for saying that. As a mentally ill and autistic person I had to stop reading specifically for that reason. It really ramped up my parenting anxiety. The fear that I abuse my child just by being her parent was consuming me. I have enough of that from my own thoughts. I don’t need a book to make it worse.

Yeah. I once had an entire group of online bullies picking apart my idea that I might, someday in the future, be able to become a parent. And a good deal of the talk was focused on how ~traumatic~ it is to have a parent who has catatonia of any kind for any reason, and how it’s horrible to ~do that to a kid~. (Which apparently meant, have a child if you’re psychiatrically disabled in any way.) Somehow I managed to survive a family with psychiatric and other disabilities (literally every family member had a disability of some kind if not more than one) without being scarred for life by it or feeling like I “lost my childhood” to it. I mean, our family had problems, we’re plenty dysfunctional in our own ways, but that wasn’t the problem. Nobody seems to believe that’s possible, though. They seem to think that being sick or disabled or mentally ill is a form of child neglect or child abandonment in and of itself.

Notes: