as small as a world and as large as alone

6:39pm August 12, 2014

lichgem:

walkingsaladshooterfromheaven:

lichgem:

Do you know what I’m tired of hearing when I see psychiatrists?

“You’re very lucid,”

“You’re very intelligent,”

“You’re very well-spoken,”

“You seem very focused,”

and all variations thereof. Because it tells me they don’t think mentally ill people are those things in general.

And just because I can carry on a conversation, doesn’t mean I can do any number of other things that are in no way connected to my conversational skills that people lump under one vague, amorphous definition of “intelligence.”

Sure, I seem focused when I’m sitting there talking to you, but you should be there when I haven’t even noticed two months have passed by, or when I burn pots to the point of having to throw them out because I keep forgetting shit is on the stove, or when I can’t even handle reading small paragraphs because my brain is so burned out.

I’ve gotten “You’re very self-aware”

and i’m like … you expected me to not be self-aware?

That’s exactly what people expect, I think. Like there’s a bunch of stupid ass mental illness truisms like, “Crazy people don’t know they’re crazy,” that people believe. And they think it’s their job to tell us whether or not we’re crazy.

(We do know. We are ACUTELY aware and acutely self-conscious about the ways we’re different, and worried constantly that people will notice.)

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