as small as a world and as large as alone

11:51pm August 12, 2014

fenisoffended:

youneedacat:

I’ve been told that one of my weird talents is my ability to put together clothes that shouldn’t go together, and make them work.  This may be one of those times.

I went back to Goodwill, this time looking for dad shirts in solid colors, or as close to solid as I could get them.  The point was to have shirts I could wear with patterned skirts.  So I found this light blue button-down shirt in the men’s department.  I combined it with a brown skirt with light blue checks, and a border that has sort of flower-shaped things.  And suspenders, of course.  And the necklace I’ve been wearing lately, with the redwoods in it.  At Goodwill I also found brown lace tights, and I never wear tights but they seemed like they’d work perfect with this so I wore them.  And then I wore the super-comfortable brown suede boots I got at Goodwill last time.

I am also happy whenever I can come up with an outfit that combines elements of what other people would consider more than one ‘gender presentation’, because I really don’t like when people consider the aesthetics of the clothing I wear a “gender presentation” instead of just “clothes I like”.  So when I can mix elements of “masculine” and “feminine” it makes me happy because I’m not doing what they expect.

And yes those are nasty bruises on my arms, from infiltrated and blown IVs many times over at the hospital.  I was two inches from needing a PICC line by the time I left.  And I am going to get down and beg on bended knee for my doctor to allow me to have a port, if I have to.  Also the thing hanging off one of my suspenders is a g-tube drainage bag, because where else can I put it?

oh my gosh those boots look amazing. im always on a quest for comfortable spiky boots, you’re lucky!

So… I’m not much of a shoe shopper in general.  But when I was younger, I had an amazing pair of brown leather boots, more comfortable than anything I’d owned before or since.  I wore them until the soles of the heels came off repeatedly and my crappy repair jobs quit doing the trick.  Then a pair of black suede boots with fringe around the edges, stopped fitting anymore.  And ever since I’ve been on a quest to find a pair of boots that was as comfortable as either one, regardless of what they looked like.

So last time I was in the Goodwill (I know, I hate the place’s practices towards disabled people too, but I’m poor, so I shop there) looking for dad shirts.  And I happened down the shoe aisle on the way out.  And…

…normally I have to buy shoes a few sizes too big for me because my feet are really wide. And I’ve gotten better at walking in shoes that are too long, than I am at squeezing myself into shoes that are too narrow.  Also, normally I don’t buy my shoes at all.  My mother buys all my shoes.  The best I get is a choice between different shoes she brings home for me – I get to try them on, and if they fit and I like them enough I keep them, if not, she brings them back for a refund.  But I haven’t really been able to choose my own shoes in years, and my aesthetics are not at all what my mom’s aesthetics are, to put it… incredibly mildly.

So to be able to pick out my own shoes, in my own aesthetics, was irresistible for once.  Especially given how cheap they were.  So pretty much the first shoes I stumbled upon were these amazing shoes.

They were extremely well broken-in by whoever wore them before me.  They were suede and lined in the most comfortable flannel possible.  They had some weird straps on them that took awhile to figure out, but I figured them out and have left them as slip-ons ever since I got the straps right.  And these are as comfortable as my two previous sets of favorite leather shoes combined.  So I was very excited and I paid something like $5 or $6 for the entire pair.  I also bought, at the same time, a pair of leather shoes that look dressier or fancier or something, for about the same price.

But these boots.

Wow.

They’re incredibly comfortable.  I couldn’t ask for more comfortable shoes if I had Beagle eyes or something to make at people who sold me shoes.

I’m not actually sure what all the spiky stuff around the edges is supposed to be about, but it looks cool, so I’ve not tried to modify it or anything.  There’s two larger bands, and then this smaller band that winds around the back in a weird way that I don’t really see the purpose of.

But I love them.  And it’s hard for me to own a pair of shoes I actually love.  But these shoes, I love.  Absolutely love.  They are the perfect boots, all I have to do is slip them on, they’re low maintenance, and they have the best texture both inside and out that I’ve ever felt in boots!  Or in shoes in general.  Never had anything like them, feel incredibly lucky to own them, can’t imagine why someone gave them up.  Because they’re perfect.  And… I don’t gush about shoes, so if I say they’re perfect, they’re perfect.

Even if they’re slightly too long.  That I can live with if the width is perfect, which it is.

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