6:19pm August 14, 2014

Does anybody understand?

madeofpatterns:

Went to a very intellectual social justice bookstore. It made me feel inadequate. It was full of books I’ll never be able to understand.

And this is who I was supposed to be. I was a little professor and I was supposed to turn into a big professor and I can’t do it. I don’t think the way you have to think for that.

And - it reminded me of something else. I really care about the work I, doing. I want to do it much more rigorously than I’ve been able to. I have some understanding of what rigor is. But not much access to it.

I don’t want to head a personality cult. I want to learn and find out important things and teach them. And collaborate with others and get criticism and have us… Not acting alone.

I know a lot of things. But I’m running on charisma far, far more than I should be.

Need to level up somehow. Not sure how.

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