as small as a world and as large as alone

7:29pm August 14, 2014

This is why I desperately, desperately want a port.

Someone actually used a finger to find a vein at one point, at which point they ran vancomycin in there for a day and a half, which is against every rule for what they should’ve been doing.  (When the IV nurse saw the IV’s position, she was furious.  When she found out what they’d been putting through it, she was livid.)

On my last night at the hospital, the IV nurse said she wouldn’t torture me anymore and told them to stop all IV meds and fluids, she just refused to do it.

I need a fucking port.

I know the dangers, I know the risks, and I need a fucking port.

Every time I go to the hospital I either end up on a PICC line or I end up with my IV being changed several times a day after it blows or infiltrates or both.  And the PICC has resulted in complications before.

I am seeing my doctor next week and if I have to get down on my knees and beg him for a port, I will.

He is too optimistic.  He always pretends there won’t be a next time, that somehow everything we’re doing will keep me out of the hospital.

There’s always a next time and there will always be a next time until I die.

Ports can last up to ten years.

I’ve done my research.  I’ve had upwards of six IV nurses independently recommend I get a port, because my hand and arm veins aren’t worth shit.  And I’m not wanting to wait until they have to start looking for veins in strange and exotic places.

(The last couple pictures aren’t very clear but there are greenish-yellow spots on my hands from various IVs and IV attempts.)

I just… I’m sick of this.  I want a single, easily accessed area where people can do this.  Especially if I’m going to be getting infusions on anything like a regular basis for my myasthenia gravis, there’s no way on earth I’d be able to do it through regular IVs every time, I’d run out of veins.

Also – I want my port put in beforehand.  Not in an emergency situation where it’s easy to get things wrong because everyone’s in a hurry.  I just want a nice normal medical appointment where I can go in and get the port put in, and then during the real emergency they can access it.  FFS.

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