as small as a world and as large as alone, I think what that question means is like... Idk I...

4:35pm August 26, 2014

Anonymous asked: I think what that question means is like... Idk I don't think ppl think ppl with disabilities are Risky I think the thing is that they're asking themselves could they take care of said disabled person if it came to that. Like esp if ur physically disabled u may have serious health issues and I don't think u should date someone that has the possibility to be very unwell if ur just gonna dump them when they get unwell

disabilityhistory:

Wooooow. Here is Ableism 101, right here, in response to this.

I don’t know that this even deserves a response, but here goes.

Many disabled people do not require any “special” care from partners. Many abled people do require “special” care from partners. Most good relationships, romantic or otherwise, are built on some degree of interdependence, wherein each person provides the other with love, care, and assistance in a generally egalitarian way.

Disabled people often overcompensate for the things we “can’t” do, yet our contributions are undervalued.

For disabled people who need significant daily care, we would generally prefer that that not come from one person/partner, for the same reason that it’s dangerous for anyone to be completely reliant on one person: it’s setting us up for abuse. Sometimes we don’t have a choice. But we are working toward independent living and making sure that everyone has the resources they need to live independently, regardless of whether they have a romantic partner, sibling, parent, friend, etc. to care for them.

But if that’s what you’re afraid of, I’ve got news for you: anyone can become disabled at any time. Anyone can get very ill. Dating the healthiest, most abled person you see is no guarantee of anything.

It’s a serious fucking problem that you hear “disability” and think “burden,” in a post about how that conflation is wrong.

Disabled people are not burdens. We are not burdens to society, we are not burdens to our friends, we are not burdens to our families, we are not burdens to our partners.

With that said, you, Anonymous, don’t have to want to date us. I’d really rather you didn’t.