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3:04pm August 31, 2014

satellitesandaliens:

You can make agender characters who aren’t androgynous. Agender means without gender, so applying the standards of gender to an agender person is pointless. Now, other agender folks feel differently about this. Some are okay with beings called masculine, feminine, androgynous and that’s awesome, but I’m not. It makes me really uncomfortable and disturbed.

It would be nice to see agender characters like me. More agender characters of all sorts, generally.

I know what you mean.

I do look somewhat ambiguous due to the boobs + facial hair combination, but it’s not my intent to look androgynous, and I don’t feel androgynous, or masculine, or feminine, or anything else (to me, that’s why I see myself as genderless at all – because I’m not any of those things, because I have no gender identity, but I understand that different people have different experiences).

I understand why some genderless people prefer to look androgynous.  To me, though, being genderless partly means that gender doesn’t influence how I want to look.  I have certain aesthetics that I like in terms of my appearance, and some of those would be called by others masculine, feminine, mixed, or androgynous, but to me the gender people attach to them is totally irrelevant to why and whether I like them.  And it does make me very uncomfortable when people try to fix me into a point on a gender system that I don’t belong in.  (And “androgynous” is part of that system, to me.)  It’s also disturbing to me because I’ve had people make some really weird assumptions about me, entirely based on confusing genderless with androgynous.  (And also they seem to think that genderlessness is entirely an AFAB thing when it’s not at all.  Like of the people I actually know who are genderless, we split evenly down the middle AFAB and AMAB.  But for whatever reason people keep saying it’s an all-AFAB thing.  I’m AFAB but of my friends and acquaintances who are genderless I know exactly equal amounts of both, so I’m pretty sure the all-AFAB thing is a myth.)

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