as small as a world and as large as alone, Do other autistic people constantly have a song in...

9:16pm September 8, 2014

Anonymous asked: Do other autistic people constantly have a song in their head? Like even if I'm concentrating on something else, there's a tune in the back of my mind. Listening to it only makes it stay longer, the only way to stop it is to change the song manually.

mulder-are-you-suggesting:

Yeah, I basically have a song stuck in my head at all times.

I not only always have one, but it always has relevance to a situation I’m in. It might be something I looked at, something I’m thinking, something I’m feeling, whatever, but it’s always, always there and it almost never is irrelevant to some situation at hand. It almost feels like a kind of thinking.

Also, I often have completely original cello compositions in my head. Every part is played by a cello, and they are deep, haunting, beautiful, and I could never get them out of my head in any form so nobody will ever hear them. They match my emotional state exactly, they are complex, they have all kinds of overlapping layers to them, and… nobody will ever hear them. Even if I could play the cello, I would have to be playing multiple parts at once. The songs never repeat. I can’t write music onto paper from my head fast enough, not like Mary Meinel/Mary Newport. And it sometimes is very frustrating to me that nobody will ever hear these beautiful cello compositions. They fit my mood and everything around me, better than any song I’ve actuallyheard on the radio or something that gets stuck in my head. And I only wish I could push a button near my ear and let everyone hear them.

Notes: