1:03am September 17, 2014

I just got a very reassuring email.

That says my father feels my love all the time.

I can’t explain what that means to me, I’m crying.

My mom said he woke up from a nap today and said “I’m dying.”

I don’t know quite in which sense he meant it, but I suspect his body is finally telling him that it can’t keep up with the demands of being alive, forever.  I’ve been to that point, more times than I’d like to admit because I have not always told people how bad it was.  

But I’ve never been past the event horizon, not quite.  And that’s where he’s going.

I love him more than anything.  And if he knows that, and feels it all the time like I can feel his love all the time, then maybe I don’t need to be there.  But I still want to snuggle up to him and play with his beard like when I was little, just one last time.

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