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1:31am September 17, 2014

I actually feel horrible.

The extra steroids I took to keep myself from cortisol-crashing when I got the news about my dad, are keeping me awake.

And I feel really awful and vulnerable.

And I don’t like feeling vulnerable.

I just want some sleep, and to feel like a person.  I feel like a patchwork person, like pieces of me are coming apart.

I mended my afghan that I sleep with, but I feel like I need to mend something else, some part of me that’s coming apart just like the afghan was.

I don’t know how to feel right again.

Notes:
  1. olddisabledautisticmofo said: I don’t have AI, but when I’ve been on glucocorticoids for a while I get anxious, stripped-of-any-emotional-skin feelings. The only thing helped was lots of alpazolam and time. :/
  2. callmemonstrous said: :( im so sorry
  3. strugglingbuthoping said: <3
  4. fullyarticulatedgoldskeleton said: I’m sorry. I hope you feel better.
  5. soilrockslove said: *curls up next to you*
  6. withasmoothroundstone posted this